Causing trouble in the Navy

I was given advice about not drawing attention to myself when I joined the Navy. One of the cardinal sins was not to be “political” by contacting elected officials, especially with complaints. I ignored this advice and this is the story.

I was deployed aboard the aircraft carrier USS Bon Homme Richard (CVA) in 1970. The food is good in the Navy, even the SOS (chipped beef). I even liked the reconstituted dried eggs. For beverage there was coffee of course and a Kool Aid type drink, which we called “bug juice”.

On day while I was waiting in the mess line I noticed that they were stirring up a new batch of the “bug juice”. I asked for the empty packet. When I read the ingredients I noticed that it was sweetened with Sodium Cyclamate.

I was aware that there was some controversy about this sweetener so as a joke I sent the empty package home with a humorous comment about how the Navy was trying to poison us. Just kidding of course. I’m always kidding about poisoning and mayhem.

Mom to the rescue

I should have known what was going to happen. My Mom was a woman of action and not afraid to stir things up. Much earlier in my life had written a letter of protest to the Howdy Doody show when she observed that Buffalo Bob kept calling Clarabelle “stupid”. She took offense at the use of the word and felt it was inappropriate for a children’s show. She certainly was not going to ignore this threat to my well being, even though I didn’t even drink the stuff. She wrote a letter to her Senator and got a quick reply.

Transcription

DEPARTMENT OF THE NAVY NAVAL SUPPLY SYSTEMS COMMAND WASHINGTON, D. C. 20390
IN REPLY REFER TO AUG 19 1970

Senator Abraham Ribicoff
United States Senate 
Washington, D. C. 20515

Dear Senator Ribicoff:

This is in reply to your letter of July 30, 1970, on behalf of Mrs. Betty J. Poltrack, 207 Stevenson Road, Fairfield, Connecticut 06604, concerning Navy use of beverage bases containing cyclamates.

Military procurement, issue and use of artificially sweetened beverage bases has been discontinued in compliance with policy of DHEW (Department of Health, Education and Welfare). The Assistant Secretary of Defense (I&L) has directed that effective immediately, all activities will discontinue issue and use of these items and will survey existing stocks in accordance with prescribed procedures. This action has been expedited by the Navy.
As a matter of information, a similar letter has been provided to Senator Thomas J. Dodd, who has also expressed an interest in this matter.

Sincerely yours,
K. R. Wheeler Rear Admiral, SC, USN Commander

Happy Helicopter Hoodlums

My mother sent the letter from the Navy and if I was rational I would been quiet and have plausible deniability. But instead I shared it with my shipmates and they responded with a commendation for my Mom.

Transcription

FROM: THE HAPPY HELICOPTER HOODLUMS OF HELSUPPRON ONE
TO: MRS. POLTRACK
SUBJ: UNOFFICIAL "MOTHER OF THE MONTH AWARD"

The almighty United States Navy is beholden to the person named herein for a magnificent and an heroic act. The undersigned made formal protests to the government of the United States of America. It is well recognized that the consumption of cyclamtes by humans and sailors alike can be a health hazard. It is very likely that our sweaty bodies could have been permanently damaged without your recent efforts to eliminate this vile chemical from the mammoth supply system of our Navy.
And so it is with great pride and admiration that the enlisted men of HC-1 DET 3 present you with our highest honor. You are the very first "Mother of the Month".
Very respectfully,

Redacted signatures

Repercussions

Shortly after I learned the lesson about being quiet. The cyclamates were eliminated as well as the punch and for some time only water was offered during meals. I heard a bit about this from my shipmates, with an occasional sarcastic “Thanks to you we have no more bug juice”. You are quite welcome.